Resident Evil 4 Review - Kennedy won't die this time

If it's pouring rain outside and you can't leave the house or when you're sick and have to stay in bed, there's no better way to kill time than kill a couple of walking corpses in a video game.
Resident Evil 4 is the perfect title for such a productive pastime and although it's a bit old - the release date is 2005 - it still manages to provide some solid fun and relaxation.

Graphics: 3.5

Surprisingly it looks pretty decent even today, 13 years later. It cannot compete with the AAA, movie-like games that rule the industry with an iron fist today, but still, something is alluring about RE 4. Especially about the HD version.

First of all, I enjoy the monster models - they guarantee to bring a smile (a condescending one) to your face since their relentless attempts to look scary and frightful are kinda cute. But at the same time, a tasty portion of disgust and disdain will be served too, especially when the ghoulish creatures demonstrate their lovely life-sucking tentacles. This game is undoubtedly not for squeamish people.

Physics and animations are smooth and realistic. As for the minute details inherent to the modern level-design - they are almost non-existent. And the cut-scenes are of suckish, low-resolution quality. In other words, don't freak out if you feel like a time-traveler once you launch this game. 

Gameplay: 4.5

You play as agent Kennedy who's central mission is to rescue the US President's daughter kidnapped by some mysterious cultists. Leon Kennedy is dispatched to the Latin America where he locates the cult's headquarters - an old castle infested by human flesh-eating bed-bugs poorly explored parasites capable of bringing dead bodies back to life.

While rescuing miss Ashley, who bears a striking resemblance to younger and hotter Britney Spears, Leon Kennedy will have to fight:

• Undead ogres dressed in underpants and sandals (thankfully with no socks).
• Infested villagers with creepy, low-pitched growling voices.
• Somber cultists who look quite similar to the Undead Cult acolytes from WarCraft III (plagiarism?).
• A nauseating leprechaun named Salazar, who claims he's only 20.
• Knights of Death.
• A kooky-wacky red-beret Krauser.
• The ultimate boss who looks like an old Spanish guido macho.

I won't tell you the story, because it's quite pleasant to watch it unfold first-hand. I can only say there's some fascinating insight into the mythology of the Resident Evil franchise.

Leon has a rich assortment of weaponry to annihilate his numerous adversaries with and also he knows a bit of CQC. Unfortunately, his unarmed combat prowess is limited to one single move only, which means that agent Kennedy mostly skipped his judo class. Even though the game looks a bit outdated, it still manages to enthrall your attention thanks to the eerie atmosphere, adorably obvious observations made by agent Kennedy and memetic antiheroes. 

Controls: 4

Mr. Kennedy is a charm when it comes to controlling. Remarkably responsive and agile, he at the same time is capable of producing devastatingly strong attacks with his trademark dagger.

In case you feel lazy about eliminating every single foe, you can manipulate Leon to avoid their charges which he will do like a graceful ballerina. The only thing I sincerely hate is weapon-swiping - why can't it be momentarily? 

Replay Value: 0

Resident Evil 4 is like an old, dusty book you used to love. It's worth being replayed, especially in a remastered version.

Conclusion

The Merchant is as still as avaricious and quotable as he was once, Leon is always tough and has his passion for stating the obvious things, Ashley is still lovely, and Salazar is the same annoying little freak.